17 everyday things the devil must have had a hand in creating

If you’re from the South (and even if you’re not), you’ve likely heard the saying, “The Devil is a lie and the truth is not in him.”

Well, I’m taking it step further. Not only is he a lie, he is BUSY and has without a doubt had a hand in creating some of the very things we use every day.

  1. Paper cuts – How could something so small hurt so much? It’s *otherworldy*
  2. Bikini waxes – Hot wax on your unmentionables. Goes without saying …
  3. Phoenix, Arizona – NOTHING is this hot on purpose.
  4. Stilettos – I love a high heel, but let’s not kid ourselves. They are torture devices.
  5. Shorts on leather seats in the summer
  6. Relaxers – Sorry if you have one, but it had to be said. Something that has to burn to reach perfection ain’t right.
  7. Pump it Up – Do people still use this? Who the hell thought it was a good idea to to liberally spray the equivalent of pure alcohol on your scabbed over fresh relaxer ‘do. Then follow it up with oil sheen like you’re doing something. These are the same people whose grandmas put butter on burns.
  8. Kids’ toys that make noise
  9. People who insist on buying you kids’ toys that make noise and give you like a year’s worth of batteries
  10. Low-alcohol wine – Yes, it’s a thing and I’m still very upset that they put it next to the “real” wine. Put it next to the alcohol-free beer, and better yet, put a photo of a pregnant woman with an X on top of the section to avoid confusion.
  11. Alcohol-free beer – Drink a soda. Or a hot tea.
  12. Companies that don’t allow online bill pay – In my opinion, they actually don’t WANT to get paid. The only thing worse than this is the companies who send you the tiny postcard with your bill and don’t even include an envelope like people these days have ENVELOPES lying around.
  13. Saran Wrap – I’m sure this was the best thing EVER when it first came out and people didn’t have Tupperware or aluminium foil. But it basically sucks. It doesn’t stick to ANYTHING but itself, so you basically end up with three chicken nuggets and a tablespoon of veggies wrapped in 2 pounds of plastic wrap because you dared to run out of aluminum foil. And no, you can’t throw it away because you told those kids they would have to eat this tomorrow and you really need to prove the point.
  14. That guy who sings Trap Queen 
  15. The Prone Cobra – You’re going to look at this and say, haha, whatever this is so easy. But hold this for three straight minutes and get back with me.
  16. HOA fees – I’m going to charge you money to let YOU let ME tell me what you can do with your own house that you paid hundreds of thousands of dollars on. Where dey do that at?
  17. Krispy Kreme Doughnuts – How can a three-word sign hold so much sway over humans? The “Hot.Now. Doughnuts” sign has undoubtedly caused many car accidents and regret.

What did I miss? What other so-called harmless items were actually created by the devil?


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